Thursday, December 30, 2010

LOST

My name is Juan. My middle name is Pablo. I was born in Barranquilla, place that I love deeply. Five feet and seven inches separate me from the ground while one hundred and sixty pounds keep me attached to it. My eyes are somewhere in between hazel and green. I’ve got a few freckles.

I never shave, use a groomer instead. I’ve got some cow’s feet that make me feel old. I once had braces. I’ve never worn glasses. I never wear white underwear. I only buy black shoes. I only use black wallets. I’ve used the same perfume since 1994. I sing when I’m alone. I sing whenever I feel like I want to sing. I have five scars on my face, but people rarely notice any of them. I’ve never stolen anything from a store, I’ve never kept anyone’s change, I never pulled money out of my dad’s wallet. I have seeped at the train station.

I’ve had a tear in my right thigh since 1993 that affects my foothold. I’ve had a broken ligament in my right elbow since 2004. I love roller coasters. I love the sea. I love a soccer field. I love Minnesota.

I’ve been to 22 different departments (states) in Colombia, out of 31, and the more I travel the more beautiful I find the country I was born in; I’ve visited three different borders (Brazil, Ecuador, Venezuela). I’ve been to Panama. I have been to 19 different states in the US. I have been to 7 cities in Canada. I’ve never been to Europe, or any other continent. Vancouver is probably the most awesome city I have ever visited.

As a child I admired Superman, Spiderman and Mike Tyson. I practiced Taekwondo from 1986 to 1988. In 1990 I earned the most important prize I’ve ever achieved; I even was on the newspaper. It’s a pity after 18 years I still haven’t beaten my own personal record. I’ve always been a procrastinator, but somehow I manage to finish the assignment on time.

I’ve learned not to judge people. I’ve learned to stand against people’s judgments. I’ve lost games. I’ve lost money. I’ve lost friends. I’ve never lost my dreams; I have a lust to achieve them. I’ve learned how to be patient. I’ve learned how to manage people’s impatience. I’ve experienced the feeling of loss, grief, sorrow and desperation. I’ve had glimpses of joy, success, euphoria and inner stillness. When the sky is heavily overcast I still know the sun is on the other side; I don’t know if that’s good or bad.

I’ve learned to stay away from some people. I’ve had to stay away from some people I didn’t want to be away from. I wrote a book in 1997. I had my biggest loss in 2000. I had my moment of glory in 2001. I had my toughest moment in life in 2007, and I’m still living it.

I’m a risky person. I’m an adventurous person. I’m a brave person. Some people think I’m evil minded, I still don’t know why. I’ve never had a cigarette. I’ve never done drugs. I love the taste of whiskey. I remember what happened in 1983 better than I can remember what happened last week. Soccer is my biggest passion. I’m a huge fan of the soccer team of my hometown (Junior de Barranquilla). My biggest idol is for sure Ivan Valenciano.

I consider myself a very lucky person. I rarely go to church. I receive communion every time I go to church. 90% of the times I pray I receive whatever I’m praying for. I’ve had the chance to meet outstanding people. As an adult I have never been able to meet people as the ones I met as a child or as a youngster. I like talking about politics. I like talking about economics. I like talking about soccer. I like to tell my story. I enjoy listening to somebody else’s story. I’m an engineer. I would have liked to be a doctor without giving up the chance of being an Engineer. I had the chance to go to the Medicine School for one year when I already was an Engineer; I loved it.

I’m pro-love in all of its ways. I reject marriage in all of its ways, as I think it restricts the freedom of real love. I like to hold and lull babies, although I think I’ll never have any of my own. I think demagoguery is an art that should be learned and responsibly used. I eat healthy most of the time. I spend a lot of time in the kitchen. I can’t live without a blender. I won’t let myself have a pot belly, if that makes me a vain then I am.

All of these sentences didn’t follow any specific order, but all of them are true, a bit of who I am. Many things are missing, but I don’t want to make it longer as a courtesy to those who are reading (I’m sure you guys are not many). “The greatest men are those who try to reach impossible goals” (that was my motto eleven years ago, and it still is). Goog luck only hits those who deserve it, I wish you the best of luck.

JPDR

(written in New York City, Aug 2008)

Friday, December 10, 2010

UN DÍA EN CHICAGO

Empaco dos barras de granola, un sándwich de jamón y queso provolone, dos guineos, y una botella de agua. Corro a la Western para capturar el bus 49 y transferirme a línea naranja. Entro a la estación del tren, pasa, me subo y viajo hasta “Clark and Lake”. En los buses urbanos soy generalmente el único blanco de la camada de pasajeros, en el tren ya no luzco tan diferente.

Caminando llego al punto cero de la ciudad, Madison y State. De vez en cuando pasa una ventisca que me recuerda el frío inclemente y desgarrador que hubo hace un par de meses, ahora el clima es tolerable. Me cruzo con una chica que con una planilla y un catálogo me detiene y me empieza a explicar cómo hacerme miembro de una fundación que apoya a niños de escasos recursos en Sur América; me enseña fotos y me dice lo que debo hacer para salvar a un niño.

– I really wish I could save any of those kids, but right now I’m working on saving myself – Le dije.
– It’s really easy, this is as much as you need to donate for the cause – Insiste.
– Look I’ve seen these kids, I come from South America, but there is really nothing I can do for them right now – Replico.
– Do you really come from South America?- Me pregunta.
– Yes, you can tell by my accent when I say words like “equilibrist, equilibrium or ambiguous”.
– Are you trying to laugh at me?
– No, I’m a real “baRRanquillero”, from Colombia, believe me. I need to get going now.
– Hey… My name is Gil.
– Mine is Juan. I’ll see you later Gil.

Sigo caminando por el Downtown procurando encontrar algún letrero que anuncie una vacante. El tiempo se agota, he pasado por la biblioteca, por la Torre Sears, por el Lake Shore, por todos lados. Tomo la línea azul hacia el norte. Me detengo en la estación de la Irvin Park. Me quedo estático por unos segundos recordando las veces que esperando el tren soporté aquella brisa helada que me penetraba hasta los huesos, pero nunca caí enfermo. Quise estar allí otra vez, quizá la última, no lo sé. Pienso en “Chouf”, y me pregunto si se acordará de mí.

Regreso a la “Division”. Tomo el bus y me bajo en la Ashland y la Webster. Camino hacia el Bally’s. Ya Matt ha llegado.

- Hey Matt I don’t know what happens, but every time a reply to a post on CL, or to a person who has replied to any of mines they no longer write back.
- That’s maybe because of your name Juan, they think you are Mexican, many people reject Mexicans in this land, make sure you let them know you are Colombian, or just use an account where you don’t let them know your name.

Llegamos a la banca plana y le cargamos cada uno una torta de 45 libras.

- Hey, I was using that – Dice un tipo al que ya tuve unas semanas atrás la desdicha de conocer.
- No, you were not, I just saw you coming from the dumbells section.
- Ok, let’s make a deal, whoever lifts the heaviest weight gets the bench.
- That’s fine, but why don’t we bet a few bucks in addition to that.
- I’ll bet ya 5 bucks.
- Make it 10. – Le dije.

Entonces el sujeto carga una nueva torta de 45 a lado y lado, se acuesta sobre la banca y completa cinco repeticiones.

- You think you can beat that, I’m obviously much heavier and stronger than you are, I’m 180 pounds, what are you? 155?
- I’m actually 162 pounds, but I’ll still beat you.
- Ok, if you do the same five you win, how’s that?
- I’ll do more than five, with no spotter, and bringing it all the way down to the chest, which you didn’t exactly do by the way.

No me preocupaba mucho la banca, sólo que este tipo era realmente insoportable. Sólo tenía 10 dólares en el bolsillo, pero tenía dos dólares en la tarjeta del bus, por lo que si perdía al menos podría regresar a casa, aunque me quedaría sin nada, pero si ganaba tendría 20 dólares, con lo que en el Aldi’s podría comprar dos bolsas cargadas de frutas y verduras.

Me arrojo a la banca. El tipo hace comentarios idiotas mientras Matt me mira con incredulidad. Retiro la barra de los soportes. - One, Two, Three…

- All right dude, that was seven, so you not only must leave but you owe me 10 bucks.

El tipo me paga y se retira. Terminamos la jornada. Matt me deja en la estación de la Division. Tomo el bus sobre la Ashland hasta el Garfield Boulevard. Hago “transfer” hasta la Western con 55 sur. Son las 11pm. Camino de regreso.

- Mañana Aldi’s, primer destino…

JPDR (Chicago, 2008)

A DAY IN TORONTO

I’m back in Toronto. This is the first place I visited when I first got to Canada, with only US$6.00 in my pockets. That day I was very lucky, my Guardian Angel once again saved me, but that’s part of a different story.

It’s very early in the morning. I get off the Couch Canada bus and walk to the community house where they feed the homeless. Well, that’s exactly what I am right now, and I actually feel no shame about it. I wait in line. I finally make it to the counter; there is milk, coffee, cereal, whole wheat bread, eggs and some kind of a weird sausage. The sausage is dripping oil, but I’m not sure if later I’ll regret not to have eaten it. I eat it.

I’m now 10 pounds lighter than I was when I first got here. After all the French, English sounds beautiful to my ears. I’m actually excited chatting with a few homeless drug addicts who I just met in the dining room. Nice people. They speak English, which makes them very nice.

I walk to the library, it’s just a few blocks away. I get on Craigslist hoping I will find something this time. I spend my turn and ask for new one. Fortunately the person in charge is not the same one who gave me the first guest pass. I get a new one very easily. The second turn is over. There is now some sort of a class and no more turns are released.

I go to the lower floor and start reading about several topics: sports, nutrition, Greek philosophy, first aid techniques, tribes of Mexico, history of Canada, Easy French, professional fishing, the holocaust, etc. I get hungry, by reading all this stuff I spent all of the calories I had consumed at my morning breakfast. I go to another community house. At this one, through a window they give me a ham sandwich in two slices of whole wheat bread and ketchup, and a bottle of water. I only eat half of the sandwich, as I need to “split” my caloric intake so it lasts longer in my stomach.

I go back to the library. I get a new guest pass. I cross my fingers and open my mail hoping there is a response. There are several, I start replying. My turn is over, I had not enough time again. I get nothing. I wasn’t very lucky this time. Well, that happens.

I have a few “calling quarters”; now I know how valuable they are. I insert a couple of quarters. There’s good news on the other side. I look up and thank.

JPDR (Toronto, 2008)

UN DÍA EN TORONTO

De vuelta en Toronto. Éste fue el primer lugar que visité al llegar al Canadá, con sólo US$6.00 en mis bolsillos. Aquel día tuve suerte, mi Ángel de la Guarda me volvió a salvar, pero eso es parte de otra historia.

Es muy temprano. Me bajo del bus de Couch Canada y camino hasta el hogar comunitario donde dan de comer a los indigentes. Bueno, en eso terminé por convertirme transitoriamente, y en realidad poco me importa. Hago la fila. Finalmente llego al frente; leche, café, cereal, pan integral, huevos cocidos y una extraña clase de salchicha. La salchicha gotea grasa, pero no estoy muy seguro de que luego no me arrepentiré de no haberla comido. Me la como entera.

Hoy peso 5 kilogramos menos que el día que llegué aquí. Luego de tanto francés el inglés suena como una bella melodía. Me entretengo hablando con unos cuantos indigentes medio drogos que acabo de conocer en el comedor. Me agradan. El hecho de que hablen inglés ya los hace agradables.

Camino a la biblioteca, que está tan solo a unas cuantas cuadras. Vuelvo a entrar en Craigslist esperando encontrar algo esta vez. Me gasto el turno y pido uno nuevo. Afortunadamente la persona de los turnos ha sido relevada. Obtengo uno nuevo con facilidad. El segundo turno se termina. Ahora hay alguna clase en la sala y tengo que abandonarla.

Voy al piso de abajo y empiezo a leer sobre varios temas: deportes, nutrición, filosofía griega, técnicas de primeros auxilios, tribus de México, historia de Canadá, Francés fácil, pesca profesional, el holocausto, etc. Me da hambre. Leyendo estos temas sin secuencia agoté la reserva calórica que traía desde la mañana. Me voy a otro hogar comunitario. En éste, a través de la ventana entregan un sánduche de jamón en pan integral con salsa de tomate, y una botella de agua. Me como medio sánduche, puesto que debo procurar dividir mi ingesta calórica para que dure más tiempo en mi estómago.

Regreso a la biblioteca. Obtengo un Nuevo turno. Cruzo los dedos y abro mi correo esperando alguna respuesta. Hay varias, empiezo a responder. Mi turno termina, no tuve el tiempo suficiente. No consigo nada. Me faltó suerte esta vez. Bueno, eso pasa.

Aún tengo unos cuantos quarters; ahora me doy cuenta de lo valiosos que son. Inserto dos en la ranura del teléfono. Buenas noticias esta vez. Miro hacia arriba y agradezco.

JPDR (Toronto, 2008)

Título Orginal: “A Day In Toronto”

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

MI ABUELA (2ª Parte)

Ella camina despacio mientras arrastra sus pantuflas, componiendo una melodía que adorna el silencio. Ella habla sola todo el tiempo, creo que no guarda un solo pensamiento. Ella dice dos ó tres nombres antes de atinar con el mío. Ella utiliza Vick Vaporub como la fórmula mágica para cualquier mal. Ella toma agua hervida. Ella tiene una nevera que se demora tres días en hacer hielo. Ella no puede manipular un teléfono celular. Ella no sabe qué es navegar en Internet. Dice que no va a Bogotá porque la altura le sienta mal. Ella utiliza el verbo “limalegear” para reemplazar cualquier otro que no recuerde en el momento; para ella “limalegearse” significa “arreglarse”. Le gusta mascar chicles Trident, pero nunca recuerda qué así se llaman; le dice al tendero “mándame chicles ‘Tristán’” ó pronuncia cualquier cosa parecida. A ella le gusta el béisbol, y sueña con ir a los Estados Unidos, ver un partido y regresarse, pero ni siquiera tiene pasaporte. Ella es furibunda hincha del Júnior. Ella responde a casi cualquier ‘por qué’ con un ‘porque’ seguido de la misma pregunta. Ella tiene descalibradas las revoluciones y siempre está acelerada. Ella ve el Carnaval por Telecaribe. Ella me empuja cuando la abrazo y asegura que la ahogo.

Ella reza el rosario todos los días, y descubrí hace poco que siempre reza por mí. El número de misas a las que voy en un año equivale a la sumatoria del número de bautizos, de matrimonios y de muertos. Sin embargo, pese al déficit de mi ejercicio de la fe siempre cuento con una ayuda celestial hasta ahora inexplicable; supongo que se trata de mi abuela.

JPDR (Barranquilla, 2009)